emma stone

The 8 Things to Never Say to a Single Girl

being alone

If you’re a single girl then I know that you can relate to at least one of these.  Isn’t it annoying as hell when someone says something to you about your single life, trying to make you feel better, but really it just makes things 100% worse?  Here are 8 things that no one should ever say to a single girl.

1.  “How do you not have a boyfriend?”

selena

For some reason, guys always ask me this, and it drives me crazy. What kind of answer do I give to, “How are you still single?”  I don’t know, maybe because all men are pigs or maybe because I’d rather be braless and watching Netflix then actually putting makeup on to impress some douchebag.  Which answer works best for you?

2.  “Sometimes I wish I were single.”

bitch please

I’m sure you all have that friend whose been in a committed relationship since she came out of her mother’s womb and since you’ve been single for like, I don’t know, FOREVER, she tells you this in order to make you feel better.  Then you look at her, and she’s like, “yeah, you’re right, being in a relationship is so much better.”  Thanks, bitch.

3.  “The right guy will come when you’re not looking for him.”

blair rolls eyes

Shut up.

4.  “So, do you want to settle down and get married, or…?”

die alone

My great aunt asked me this at my post-graduation dinner and I was mortified.  Like, hello?  I’ve been done with college for what? AN HOUR, and I’m already supposed to have a ring on my finger? My answer:  “Uh, yes, waiter? Can I see your drink menu?”

5.  “Maybe you should try online dating.”

the holiday

Have you NOT read The 5 Guys You Meet on Tinder?

6.  “Don’t worry, he’s out there.”

harsh world

I’m sure he is, but WHY IS HE HIDING FROM ME?  Should I be looking for him?  But wait, I thought I wasn’t supposed to be looking for him.  Ugh, this is exhausting.

7.  “You’re a great girl, any guy would be lucky to have you.”

date the hell out of me

Soooo… if I’m so awesome, why aren’t you dying to be with me? When a guy says this to you, it’s just so irritating.  Even your best guy friend chose to be with that plain looking girl with no ambition and zero alcohol tolerance before pining over you and he knows how cool you are.  Basically, he should’ve just slapped you in the face instead.

8.  “Maybe you just need to get yourself out there more.”

tastes like love

Maybe I should just marry a box of wine.  Yep, that’s the answer.

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4 thoughts on “The 8 Things to Never Say to a Single Girl”

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